the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
