Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
