I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
