his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Randomize
