i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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