I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
