please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
