Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
