Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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