which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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