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I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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