dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
