if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
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