I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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