Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
my liver is dry heaving
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
