Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
God I need to hump something, right now.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
