Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
how do you play pong handcuffed?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I need to calm my uterus...
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
