Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
