Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
