You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
