No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
