this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
