My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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