OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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