i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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