I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
