Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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