I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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