I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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