..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
where does the pee come out of this thing
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
