dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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