I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
