when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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