Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
