ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I supernannyed him into submission
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
