And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
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