Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
