if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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