Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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