so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
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The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
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Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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