I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
He is an equal opportunity slut.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
