The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
