shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
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I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
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I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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