I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
