So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
