Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
