i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
This is the high leading the old right now
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
