i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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