Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
