Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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