Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize