I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
