they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize