$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
