ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
