I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
