I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
