Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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