If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize